Starring: Christopher McDonald, April Scott, Jonathan Bennett, and Randy Wayne Well, consid... The Big Screen Bulletin: News Th

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Submitted by admin on Mon, 2007-04-16 11:00.

Well, considering that I refuse to watch the first film starring Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville, and since I was not a huge fan of the show (but at least respected its popularity), this review should be interesting shouldn't it? The 2005 film was directed by Broken Lizard's own Jay Chandrasekhar. It was met with scathing reviews by critics, and made many top 10 worst lists that year. However, I have met a couple of people who enjoyed it, and I feel sorry for them. Those people must have been a significant number because this prequel was the result. In this installment the origins of Bo, Luke, and most importantly�The General Lee are conceived. Prior to Bo and Luke raising hell in Hazzard, they ran into some trouble with the law in their previous hometowns. They are both sent to live with Uncle Jessie, and learn a hard day's work. That lasts all of one afternoon before the corrupt Boss Hogg hatches a plan to rid the county of all moonshiners, and of course that means Uncle Jessie, whom he has much disdain for. Hogg is preparing to make Hazzard a dry county, while also setting up ice cream parlors (this is a cover for his secret agenda for those who were not aware). Since Uncle Jessie is being watched closely by Hogg, and is supposed to pay him money at one point, Jessie decides to enlist Bo and Luke to help run the moonshine all over the area. They need a fast car. With the aid of Cooter, they find General Lee in the bottom of a pond. They fix it up and transform it to pristine condition because they have ample amounts of cash for that I guess. At this juncture of the storyline, I started to wonder what grade level the screenwriters reached in high school before dropping out.

In the background of our tale is one of the most annoying narrators in cinematic history, who absolutely must speak to us incessantly because of how ridiculous and surprisingly convoluted the plot becomes. He rambles so much that I paid little attention to him. Oh, by the way, Daisy is a brunette here, and we see her as a nerd with big clothes and glasses. We do discover why Bo slides over the car hood and hops in the window. It's so he doesn't have to walk the whole way around the car, and it's cool. Wow, now I can sleep easier at night. If you are upset by these minor spoilers, you must have issues. Anyway, Sheriff Roscoe and his dog Flash are involved in the hijinks too. The entire film is filled with about as much redneck one-liner dialogue, slapstick comedy, and so-called "unrated" nudity as any teenager can handle. The nudity consists of quick glimpses of topless girls. Yay. The filmmakers were so desperate to display skin that they had a stunt where the boys drive a go-cart through a school, and into the girls' locker room. Most of the time, Bo and Luke are either A) trying to get laid, or B) trying to get drunk. Inevitably, Daisy changes her boring style to get some dude to notice her. She starts wearing jean shorts and a skimpy shirt. She is played by April Scott, a pretty young lady who makes Shannon Elizabeth seem like an Oscar-winning actress. Scott is credited as "model", or "sexy girl" in the majority of her previous roles.

Having just watched one of the best car chase sequences ever in Grindhouse, I viewed the scenes in this prequel as complete and utter garbage. The occupants of the vehicles are so blatantly stunt drivers that Director Robert Berlinger made no attempt to conceal them whatsoever. So Boss Hogg of course threatens to forclose on Jessie's farm, and the boys need to think up some wacky scheme to get revenge on Hogg. Insanity and craziness ensues. You predict the ending.

Now for the acting. As I said, I was not a follower of the original TV series, but Jonathan Bennett and Randy Wayne do not just insult the abilities of Tom Wopat and John Schneider, but also the horrid efforts by Johnny Knoxville and Seann William Scott in 2005. I might not have seen that movie, but I did see the trailer, and that was all the proof I needed of putrid awfulness. Bennett and Wayne aim high and emulate Scott and Knoxville to some degree. Willie Nelson returns as Uncle Jessie, and even sings a dandy song in this sorry excuse for entertainment. He really does try hard, and he is by far the only one who delivers a solid turn. Harlan Williams steps in as Roscoe P. Coltrane. You will remember him from Half Baked. That was the high point of his career, and this is the low. His voice gave me a migraine. Lastly is Christopher McDonald, who was a fabulous actor at one time (Broken Flowers, Requiem for a Dream), but that is impossible to defend now. As Boss Hogg he is painful to endure. He deserves better. It is embarrassing that Shooter McGavin was forced to resort to these sorts of trashy scripts.

I have come across a few reviews that were actually positive for this torturous atrocity, and honestly, that doesn't say much for those sites. The best part of this experience for me was the fact that Trishelle from some recent season of MTV's The Real World plays some random hottie and gets naked. I didn't love her appearance for the nudity, it was just so damn hilarious to me that someone is paying that girl to act. The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning has no laughter, no adventure, no excitement, and no reasons why anyone should waste time on renting or buying it. The people who said to themselves "This was a lot of fun" must be extremely die hard fans of anything having to do with The Dukes of Hazzard. That's the only thing I came up with. Maybe my explanation was not convincing enough for you to definitely avoid this. One rule of thumb: if a film is overloaded with gags regarding excrement and passing gas (especially involving a pig), you know full well it should never have been greenlit. I don't care how much money Direct-to-DVD releases are making. These are some of the most tasteless, moronic, unintelligent pieces of work to ever have a place in stores. This only hurts the legacy of the show.

Ok, so LeBeouf is finally confirmed for Indy 4. I'm tired of commenting on this, and I'll move on now. Thomas Lennon has discussed possible sequels to Night at the Museum and Reno 911!. A Night at the Museum sequel is no surprise. Since I hated both films, I think these two will suck. Christina Ricci has joined the Wachowski's Speed Racer with John Goodman, Susan Sarandon, and Emile Hirsch. This cast is very odd, and has the chance to be very bad, or very good. The title for the upcoming Jet Li/Jackie Chan martials arts film is Forbidden Kingdom. Boring. How about some wacky kung fu style title? I have read an early report that says Edward "friggin" Norton is the new Incredible Hulk. The first thoughts that spring to mind are weird, but awesome! This is an extremely mainstream part for this guy. Personally, I can't to see how this turns out.

The Last King of Scotland - If you haven't heard of Forest Whitaker's Oscar winning performance, you have been living under a rock. My DVD review is up tomorrow, but definitely buy this.

Spider-Man 2 (Unrated, Extended Cut) - What a ridiculous double dip this is right on time for Spidey 3. If you have the first edition, stick with that.

Smokin' Aces - This had an all-star style cast, and the plot was exciting enough at the time with a Tarantino vibe, but this is good only for a rental.

Overlord � Criterion Collection - Three in one week for Criterion! I can't say as I've seen this either, but it's about D-Day so it sparks my attention.

Thieves Like Us - Another Robert Altman classic arrives on DVD. This one is not very popular, but still enjoyable with Carradine and Duvall. At $10, it is a worthwhile purchase.

MXC: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge: Season 2 - I loved watching this show in college. I'm not sure if I would buy a set, but at a cheap enough price, I could be persuaded.

Attack Force Z - A young Mel Gibson, San Neill, and John Waters. What cheesy title. I think I may have seen this long ago, but I'm not sure anymore.

Grindhouse - I could have definitely written a review for this, but I thought 3 was enough for the site. This is one of the best movies of 2007. Yes, the running time is well over 3 hours, and who cares? It didn't feel that long to me. First was Robert Rodriguez's "Planet Terror." This was a B-movie horror comedy that delivered all the gore, laughs, and one-liners. Josh Brolin was fantastic, and for that matter the rest of the cast was great also. Not one of them exaggerated their roles too much, and that was the key. "Planet Terror" had everything, and it did a fabulous job not just being unraveling like a zombie flick, but a film that saluted all those similar offerings that came before it. The comedy was just masterful here. In between were the faux trailers with star cameos, obscene images, and outstanding titles. This is an intermission that no one should miss. "Death Proof" resurrected the bad ass Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike. This is yet another Tarantino treasure with some truly spectacular female dialogue and conversations. In addition, his legitimate car chases rank right up their with those in Bullitt, The French Connection, and To Live and Die in L.A.. This is a more action-based B-movie with attractive women in skimpy clothing, cool cars, and exhilarating action. These should not be split in two. They should be viewed as one because this is a complete experience, not just a film. The missing reels, the old school theater presentations, and the rest of the package was simply sensational. This is a masterpiece from start to finish, from two guys who are experts on the genre, and honestly, I cannot wait for the DVD which will no doubt have the uncensored version.

First Snow - This guy Pearce wannabe thriller really can't be seen in too many cities, but read my review right here so you know whether or not to avoid it.

Underworld - Kate Beckinsale stars in this entertainingly stylish, but ultimately weak film which follows a war between werewolves and vampires. Good special effects, convoluted plot. This is on TNT at 8pm.

- Wide release is a term in the American motion picture industry for a motion picture that is playing nationally (as opposed to a few cinemas in cities such as New York and Los Angeles) and on 600 screens or more in the United States and Canada.

The term is sometimes used informally in relative terms. For example, a documentary or art film promoter might speak of a film expanding from a few New York and Los Angeles screens to cinemas in major cities across the U.S. as moving into "wide release" even though it might be playing on a single screen in as few as 15 or 20 major cities.

- Limited release is a term in the American motion picture industry for a motion picture that is playing in a select few theaters across the country (typically in cities such as New York and Los Angeles).

A limited release is often used to gauge the appeal of an independent film � especially of documentaries and art films. A common practice by major film studios is to give highly anticipated and critically-acclaimed films a limited release in December in New York and Los Angeles in order to qualify them for an Academy Award nomination, as set out by the rules outlined by the Academy. These films would often receive a wider release later in January or February.

To all the readers who scroll to this section, I want to inform you that this will be undergoing heavy construction in the next few weeks. After receiving some clever suggestions, I am aiming to improve this.

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Starring: Christopher McDonald, April Scott, Jonathan Bennett, and Randy Wayne Well, consid... The Big Screen Bulletin: News Th