SO, if a man steals your wife, and you really didn't want her, then you weren't robbed at all. ... How to steal a lover... | Sex Press
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SO, if a man steals your wife, and you really didn't want her, then you weren't robbed at all. ... How to steal a lover...

Submitted by admin on Sun, 2007-04-08 11:00.

SO, if a man steals your wife, and you really didn't want her, then you weren't robbed at all. They often say that the best punishment for someone who steals your lover is to let them keep him or her. But I have always contended that people really can't steal another person away in the same way that you would steal a mango or a car.

After all, no one owns anybody, and the only way you can be robbed is if you own the object. Still, people always say how so and so steal away that person's wife or husband, saying, "Yu see di one Sheree, she is a real man tief, husband stealer, home wrecker. Why she can't find a man for herself?"

But possession is nine-tenths of the law, and all's fair in love and war and all the attendant clichés that go with purloining a person from another. But hey, that pastime is as old as time itself, and even has biblical reference, to wit, King David himself, who had many wives and concubines.

Oh, it's good to be the king. But still, he desired the wife of another man, Uriah the Hittite. So lo and behold, after David did behold the wife of Uriah, he sent him unto the battlefront in the hope that he would suffer an unfortunate incident and meet his demise, so he, the king, could have her in his royal bed. Oh, it was indeed good to be the king. So you see, if even royalty could plot, purloin, pinch and pilfer the lover of another, what about poor you and me?

In modern times, subjects are not sent to the battlefront, at least not for the reason of losing your wife, but people still box people out of other people's hand, and it occurs with alarming regularity. It may start with something as simple as cutting in on two people dancing. That's a practice I haven't seen in a long time, in fact, folks hardly even dance cheek to cheek anymore, much less be cut in on. "Pardon me, may I cut in?" "Man, just tek yu warra warra outa me woman face before a do yu sumpting!"

And that's why that practice no longer exists, as men would take it as a major 'dis'. But the fact is, it originated because men wanted to steal other men's women, so they utilised the polite means reserved for gentlemen to box females out of other men's mouths. Usually if she went and had a few dances with him, it heralded the end of the night for the hapless sap who was robbed, and now had to spend the rest of the night all alone or try to find someone else. Even in ancient times warring factions would raid other tribes or cultures and rob, pillage, plunder and of course, steal the women.

But now there are other ways, and both men and women will conspire to steal lovers from others. What many men will do when they spot the object of their desire is to besmirch the character of her lover. In other words, he will concoct a smear campaign worthy of any political public relations machinery during election season.

He will propogate and carry bad news about the man and whisper sour nothings in her ear. "Listen Vickie, I saw Dalton at the movies the other night. At first I thought that it was you he was with, but I realised that it was a much younger girl he was touring with." Now if that doesn't get her wheels spinning and her mind wondering, then nothing else will.

So the seeds of suspicion and doubt are planted and germination will soon begin. As time passes he will continue to make reference about the man, telling the woman that she's way too good for the worthless bum and that he is just a womaniser who doesn't deserve her love. Cleverly, at no point does he refer to himself as a substitute, but we all know how women are, like nature they abhor a vacuum, so she will not leave her original man and exist alone without knowing where she's going to end up. So she will start leaning on the news-carrying informer bredda, whose sole intent was to steal her away and have her fall for him. He has won her confidence and ultimately stole her away from her man.

Women though, may not go that route, but will resort to more subtle methods to snatch the man. In many cases they turn into the best friend and just like those cliché murder mystery novels, where it's always the butler who did it, in real life, it's always the best friend who steals away the lover. Oh, they may call it a lover's triangle, an isosceles even, where the sum of the hypotenuse or hippopatamus is equal to the squaw or some mathematical permutation like that.

The best friend is always guilty and with good reason. The best friend is always around you, you are always around your man, so by extension, your best friend is always around your man. Do the math, connect the dots, draw the triangle, it doesn't take an actuary to work it out. The best friend sees your man at his best, observes how he treats you, and admires his good qualities. After all, the lover of my friend could be my lover too.

It's far easier to snag, snare a fish from another woman's hook, rather than cast her own line. "It's so hard to go out there and find a man, after all, he was just there with her and we both sensed a mutual attraction." But best friends aren't born, but are created. She will be your casual friend for years, barely sharing a phone call now and then, or the occasional visit, until you land a man, then suddenly she's all over you like a conjoined twin, giving you advice on how to treat him, hanging out with you, laughing at his jokes, even calling him up to chat occasionally. That's the way it starts, and she has a plan, a plot to steal your lover.

Men will study other men and try to be exactly what they are not, and therefore show up the other man. If he spots that the man isn't too attentive to the woman, then he'll start to shower her with attention, and be more attentive than a gynaecologist during an examination. If he knows that the man always works late, he'll just show up at the woman's house and fill that gap, making quality time for himself while the man is at work. He will buy little gifts for her, nothing too fancy at first, but just little trinkets to indicate that he's thinking about her.

At first she may resist, but women love company, attention and gifts, so after a while she'll start to compare the two men, do a comparative analysis, then segue right to the new one who stole her heart, and eventually other vital organs too. It's a process, this stealing of a lover, and has been elevated to an art form. Some people revel in it and have built up a reputation as 'man tief', 'home wrecker' or 'wife stealer'.

People love variety, excitement and exotica, so if you can achieve these, then get some degree of fame or even infamy, then you'll find it easier to steal someone's spouse. What chance does a poor woman have if a beauty queen decides to steal her man? What chance does a poor man have if a prime minister or millionaire DJ starts to woo his woman? Not a chance, as history has proven.

So many starlets, top ranking politicians, big time sportsmen have just gone and plucked a spouse from another, as easy as picking mango, that books, songs, sonnets and movies have been made about them. Honestly, do you think that if Miss World starts to show interest in your man you could hold him?

I think not. And which wife could resist the charms of a Denzel Washington if he came knocking? Women will use their charms and sex to wrap up, entwine, trap and steal a man from his lover. Men will use guile, lies, promises and hard currency to steal a man's woman. As they stay, stolen love is so sweet. All's fair in love and war they also say, plus it is no crime and there is no sentence, except perhaps letting them keep what they have stolen. One thing though, there is no return policy, so after she tief him or he steals her, they can't bring them back after they are through. More time.

Footnote: What a thing with our own beauty queen and her crosses? It's the stuff that romance novels are made of, and the media are running with it. But don't curse them, for it's news and that's why tabloids like The Enquirer and others in the USA are so popular.

People are basically nosy and fass, and love to know other people's business, and when you're high profile, you're fair game, from Princess Diana, Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie to others. If you cough, the news guys going to run with it, so if you get pregnant what do you expect? Other beauty queens in the USA have gotten pregnant too, or have been caught in compromising positions and had to give up their crown.

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